Hugging Partner

I was having a bad day and just needed a hug and suggested to a friend that he put in an application to be my hugging partner.  Told him it had great benefits but sucky pay...literally.  That caught his attention and he asked for more detail.  When you ask me for more detail...you never know what you may get.  This is what he got...

Its a hands on initiative that you would be the first participant of. Requires lots of one on one close contact but it is guaranteed to be rewarding. If you want, after further discussion, this type of payment could be long term. The only thing that I ask for in return for this unique payment option is a healthy direct deposit on a regular basis....There is also a visual aspect to this option that includes videos and pictures to stimulate your hugging capacity. If you so choose to accept this position, there will be a strict uniform of NO attire for men and pink bras only for women...robes will be allowed when there might be a chance of an outsider spying due to the competitive nature of this job... Please include a personal statement with a letter of your skills and unique qualities when applying for this position.


His response was that I was very creative but wouldn't it just be easier to have just said, "Get over here and get naked?"

*Disclaimer*  I found this hiding in the archives of email from months ago.  Thank you (you know who you are) for your ability to always put a smile on my face.  Hurry home for Chinese take-out!